If possible, this should also include an extra set of car keys and extra medicine for the victim or any children involved. Put important documents and other items together, so they can be easily taken with the victim.Memorize important phone numbers, including numbers of nearby shelters.Keep a hidden phone the abuser doesn't know about-even if it's a prepaid phone.Find a safe place, unknown to the abuser, where the victim can meet friends who can take them away from the abuser.Create a safe word that can be used to notify friends and family the victim is in danger without the abuser knowing.Department of Health and Human Services' Office on Women's Health recommends that such a plan include: If someone finds themselves in an abusive relationship, it can help to make a plan to leave. Abusers can also use psychological manipulation and gaslighting, physical abuse and financial exploitation to hurt their victims. Other signs of controlling behavior include making ultimatums, insulting people when things don't go in the abuser's favor or using jokes to disguise criticism in front of the victim's family or friends, according to the therapy site. Emotional abuse often manifests itself in controlling behavior, where the abuser demands their own needs be met, even at the expense of the partner's own needs-for example, telling one's wife to quit her job rather than helping her out with the housework. Though u/sweetsophiebrown said that her father was never physically abusive to V, he treated her poorly and emotionally abused her. In a later post, the redditor shared that their marriage was as rocky as one might expect from this story-and V's husband left her for a woman he was having an affair with, leaving her "destitute."Ī popular Reddit post told the story of "V," who was ordered by her husband to tell her boss she was quitting. V stayed at the position for another several years. She said 'no, but my husband told me to tell you I was quitting, so I did.'" A few minutes later, her very puzzled boss popped in and asked her if she was serious. She went to work that morning, stopped at her boss's office, and said these exact words.'My husband said to tell you that I was quitting,' and then moseyed on to her classroom. "Cue 'malicious compliance.' I loved my mom. The redditor added that he even reminded V when she left for work that morning. In response to the missed "chore," V's husband told her that she was to tell her boss she was quitting. I can't remember exactly what prompted the argument about her 'chores,' but something didn't get done that he expected and demanded that she do." "Now my dad insisted that if she was going to hold down a job, she still had to do all her 'chores' when she got oking, cleaning, laundry etc. My dad was not a nice person, and that's a whole story in itself," the redditor continued, clarifying that it was V's first job since she married. "Now my dad was always a bit of a bully, especially towards my mother. My brothers called her 'V' because her first name begins with 'V,' so I'll refer to her as V,'" u/sweetsophiebrown wrote in the popular r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit. This is one of our favorite stories involving our mother.
She died recently at the age of 89, and my sister and I were reminiscing. When the redditor's father was upset that housework was backing up due to his wife's new job teaching at a kindergarten, he told her to "tell your boss you're quitting"-so she did. That's the lesson one redditor learned from her recently deceased mother. When someone makes an unreasonable demand, sometimes the best thing to do is to follow their request to the very letter.
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